


do I like you?

by Birdindistress



Category: xxxHoLic
Genre: M/M, Misunderstandings, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-30
Updated: 2018-09-30
Packaged: 2019-07-20 14:07:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16138841
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Birdindistress/pseuds/Birdindistress
Summary: a decently long fic I wrote with the encouragement of my close friend. watanuki realizes he likes doumeki, all the while being stupid and in denial.





	do I like you?

Before, Watanuki hadn’t really been fully convinced Himawari was someone Doumeki was pursuing as a romantic interest. At first, that was all he could even fathom; after all, why would the archer bother spending day after day around a boy who - in his best mood - let him swipe food, and - at his worst - yelled, kicked and screamed until Doumeki very politely asked him to shut up. But the more the year progressed, the more the two went through thick and thin together (most recently, Doumeki’s selfless life-saving stunt with the woman in the park), the more Watanuki came to realize that maybe it wasn’t Himawari the taller was after. That was, until just now.

It had been a simple day thus far - one of his best in a while; normal - albeit, stressful - classes, a surprisingly quiet lunch compared to most afternoons, and Doumeki hadn’t even once pissed off Watanuki yet. Not once! His mind was boggled as the bell rang for last period dismissal, and Watanuki left his class going over the events of that day; it seemed like the most therapeutic thing to do after everything that had happened over the course of the last few months.

Once out of the school though, something odd caught his eye. He reeled back and squinted, hiding behind a door frame. A few students behind him complained about stopping up the door, but he ignored him, and they still made their way around.

It wasn’t a spirit, nor a rather inappropriate escapade from other students; no, it was Doumeki and Himawari, living out Watanuki’s biggest fear. In a shadowed part of the school, with his back turned to Watanuki, Doumeki seemed to be telling Himawari something very important. Watanuki watched them talk for a few more moments, beginning to catch on that it wasn’t important enough for him to eavesdrop, until Himawari’s expression morphed into something he couldn’t read, and she pulled Doumeki down into a hug, rubbing his bag as she held him. Watanuki’s eyes widened, and he dropped his bag, almost not believing his eyes. 

So…

Had he read it all wrong? Had they been together the whole time, and just didn’t want to make Watanuki feel bad? That seemed like a very Himawari and Doumeki thing for them to do, Watanuki thought with bitterness. Without noticing, he was staring daggers at the two, fists clenched and teeth grinding. The embrace lasted a few more seconds until Doumeki pulled back - but not before Himawari grasped his hands in hers and said a few more words to him.

With resounding heartbreak, Watanuki realized that they actually looked good together. Like they actually belonged. Especially when he wasn’t a part of the picture. Finally stepping out from behind the doorway, he bent down to retrieve his dropped bag, feeling his originally content mind spiralling downward. Looking towards the two one last time, Watanuki froze when his blue eyes locked with Doumeki’s own wide, golden gaze. Himawari was also staring at him, looking somewhat shocked to find him there. Before Watanuki could jog over and say something, hopefully clear up any awkward tension at being caught with spying on the two, Doumeki dipped his head and heel-toed it out of the school’s front gate. This time it was Watanuki’s turn to be flabbergasted; Doumeki never ran from anything. Apparently while he was staring off in the direction of where Doumeki had left in, Himawari had slipped away as well, and Watanuki was left truly feeling like the odd one out.

Like he was completely missing something.

\- -

“Something seems off with you, Watanuki,” Yuuko remarked that night as she drank her 4th serving of soju; she had just allowed Watanuki a small break to work on his homework before he headed home for the night.

“Astute observation, Yuuko,” he responded, voice level. He hadn’t even bothered to look up from his work.

Yuuko raised a brow and looked over at an equally confused Mokona, who began waddling towards Watanuki. It leapt up, landing on the others head, and pulled at his cheeks.

“Watanuki, what’s wrong~,” it whined.

Watanuki frowned and swatted at the other a few times, but didn’t even bother going further than that; he was completely out of whack. 

“Nothing, I’m just trying to do my work.”

 

Mokona frowned and jumped down, waddling back over to rest on an intrigued Yuuko’s lap.

“Now Watanuki we both know that’s not true. They say it’s bad luck to lie to yourself, even more so than lying to others.” Watanuki could practically hear the smirk through her unseen words, and he finally looked up, scowling at her.

“I’m in here to peacefully do my work,” he started. “I could just go home and not have to deal with any of this grilling, and then you two would really never know what’s going on.”

“That is indeed something you could do.” There she went again, boring holes through his skin with her intense gaze, saying particularly vague phrases that often went undeciphered.

 

Watanuki stared right back until he eventually snapped and screamed, clawing at his hair in frustration. He gathered his things and stood, walking over to the sliding door and opening it rather loudly. “I’m leaving.” And with that, he closed it and walked down the hall and out of the shop, Mokona flinching when he slammed the front door as well.

Uncomfortable silence followed until the furry creature spoke up. “What’s his deal?”

“I believe our Watanuki is experiencing one of the key factors of being a high school student.” Mokona tilted its head, not quite understanding the woman. 

“Come Mokona, let’s go to bed for the night as well.”

“Okay!”

\- -

It was currently one in the morning, and not once had Watanuki been able to sleep. He just lied still under the covers, listening to the cicadas outside, staring at dark, fuzzy objects in his room. The scene from earlier that day had just continued to play out over and over in his head, and as much as he had tried to avoid it, it just wouldn’t leave his mind. Watanuki frowned, and shifted in bed, now laying on his side and facing his uncovered window. His frown deepened and he flipped once more, now laying on his other side, facing a dark, undecorated wall. With one last attempt, Watanuki heaved up and flopped onto his stomach, chin straining uncomfortably to rest on his pillow. He stayed in that position for a few minutes, before smothering his face into his pillow and screaming once more, beating his fist into the mattress. 

What on earth was going *on*? He had never been so worked up over a silly interaction in his life, much less one he had nothing to do with! And it was killing him not knowing what they were saying, too. Watanuki twisted his neck to rest his cheek on the pillow, staring solemnly out of the window.

What if they never talked to him again?

What if Doumeki never talked to again, he thought with horror, recalling the others quick escape earlier. Watanuki moved his hand to his mouth and began to chip at his nails with his teeth, before he caught his own thoughts and froze.

After so many months of absolutely despising him, why now, was Watanuki so worried about what Doumeki would think?

\- -

Watanuki eventually fell asleep, but faced the consequences of his brief insomnia the next morning, needing to turn to coffee for once when he woke up early and began preparing breakfast and bentos at the shop. Yuuko hadn’t said anything to him the whole morning, but something in the back of his mind told Watanuki she was already aware of what was bugging him. His only word to her was ‘I’m heading off’ as he slipped on his shoes and grabbed his things, leaving the shop to walk to school. She hadn’t said anything in response, making the other frown. But he shrugged it off and continued walking.

Staring down as he walked, turning the corner past the wooden fence as usual, Watanuki almost yelped when he collided head first with a broad chested individual, falling flat on his butt. Watanuki rubbed at his head, groaning. Then the anger set in, and he looked up, ready to yap an ear off at whoever was standing creepily still outside of Yuuko’s shop. Like a fish however, his mouth shut tightly as he stared up at Doumeki’s looming figure; he certainly looked much more tall and menacing from down there. The two stared at each other in silence until Doumeki offered his hand to help the other up, which Watanuki took without a word and heaved up off the ground. Their hands lingered for a while longer as Watanuki centered himself, before the other discreetly pulled back.

“I wasn’t expecting you to be waiting out here this morning,” Watanuki commented as he brushed himself off, wincing at an assumed bruise that would form on his rear end by the end of the day.

“And why’s that,” Doumeki replied, tone not giving away anything.

“You know, after what happened yesterday, I just-,” Doumeki’s eyes narrowed and Watanuki paused, waving his hand and shaking his head. “Nevermind, ignore I said anything. Shall we go then?” Doumeki grunted and started walking, leaving Watanuki to pace a little faster to catch up. 

The two walked in a silence Watanuki couldn’t quite figure out, and he realized that - unsurprisingly - Doumeki was going to pretend like yesterday never happened. Watanuki caught himself ready to corner the other to get something - anything - out of him, but then he realized that wouldn’t be fair. After all, he was the one who could get in trouble for sticking his nose into something he had no business in, anyway, Watanuki thought dejectedly. 

It would just have to be brought up later, if at all. 

“So, did you have a good day yesterday?” Doumeki asked out of the blue, Watanuki flinching at the sudden question. Doumeki, actually starting small talk? This week really was shaping up to be completely out of whack. 

“It was… okay,” Watanuki replied carefully, scrutinizing the other in his gaze.

“That’s good.”

The two continued to walk in silence.

“You’re really awful at small talk, you know that?” Watanuki smiled faintly at the other, amused.

Doumeki hummed, mouth twitching up in his own little smile, and for a moment, it felt like yesterday had never happened at all. 

\- -

The morning went by quick enough, nothing other than Watanuki’s own bouncing thoughts keeping him awake enough to make it to lunch. And when he finally did, being the first one to sit down in their usual spot in the grass, Watanuki carefully took out all of his bentos and opened each one. His casual expression fell when he noticed 2 out of 3 of the bentos had smeared and smashed against the packaging, ruining all of his tired, hard work from that morning. He could assume the fall he took outside of the shop was to blame.

“That’s unfortunate,” Doumeki grunted out as he sat down in the grass across from Watanuki, who gave him an icy glare in return.

“And it’s all because a certain someone stopped right outside of my home and made me fall flat to the ground!” Watanuki yelped in retaliation.

Seeming unfazed, Doumeki reached for one of the messed up bentos, speaking as he did. “You’re the one who assumed I wouldn’t be waiting outside like I usually do-.” Just as he was about to pull away, shouted and yanked the bento out of his grasp.

“What are you doing?! You really are so desperate you’ll take whatever you first see, huh? This - take this one,” Watanuki groused out in agitation, swapping out the one in his grasp for the one bento that was unharmed from the fall. He reached his hand out, offering the meal to the archer, who stared at him like he had grown a second pair of eyes. Watanuki’s eye twitched.  
“Are you going to take it, or not?” As suddenly as it was there, Doumeki’s shocked expression disappeared again, and he took the bento.

“Thanks.”

“Yeah, yeah, don’t get yourself too worked up over thanking me, you’re welcome,” Watanuki answered, dismissively sarcastic as he tossed a pair of unopened chopsticks to the boy, opening his own after. They began eating in silence, not waiting for long until Himawari showed up to complete the trio. 

She smiled brightly at Watanuki as she sat, causing his cheeks to flush and return the grin. She was always so pretty and cute… Just as he reached down to grab the clean bento to hand to her, he picked up one of messiest ones and stared at it. Then, he looked over to Doumeki, who was contentedly eating, already reaching over to grab some of Watanuki’s smushed tamagoyaki. Watanuki laughed in embarrassment, rubbing his neck as Himawari continued to smile at him in understanding.

 

“I don’t mind eating out of that bento, Watanuki. It may be a little messy, but I’m sure it’s just as tasty as ever!” 

Watanuki smiled at her cheeriness, but still couldn’t help feeling bad as he handed her the box carefully with a pair of chopsticks. 

“Sorry, I fell this morning and ruined them all, I promise it won’t be a common occurrence,” Watanuki lied through his teeth, smiling as he did, laughing after she said something cute in remark.

Doumeki though, couldn’t help but stare, once clean box now empty in his grasp as he listened to the two talk; now, he wasn’t the only one trying to figure out who Watanuki was truly lying to.

\- -

“What do you mean you can’t study with me for finals?! They’re literally 2 weeks away! You’re lucky enough I’m here to ask at all, Lord knows you don’t study on your own!” Watanuki yelled outside of the archery range, prompting Doumeki to cover his ears.

“I study on my own,” he replied, leaving Watanuki to fume even more at the curt response. 

“YOU COMPLETELY IGNORED THE POINT I WAS MAKING!” Doumeki scowled and covered his ears with his whole hand.

“It’s just one day of practice. We can study tomorrow, I’m sure you’ll make it on your own today.” Watanuki’s anger slowly turned to embarrassment as he attempted to get a word in, realizing how unnaturally whiny he must’ve sounded in that moment. He scrambled to make a case for himself, not wanting to admit why the change of plans really upset him. Doumeki cut off his frantic thoughts after moments of silence.

“If you’re not gonna say anything else, I’m gonna go in and change for practice,” he said, gesturing behind him. When his words were met with silence, he shrugged and turned walking towards the range.

“Wait!” Doumeki came to an immediate, robotic hault, turning to look at Watanuki with a blank face. The other looked about ready to combust out of embarrassment, and Doumeki smirked at the shame he was probably forcing himself through.

“If it’s allowed I could… Go in with you and study there?” The suggestion came out entirely sounding like a question, causing Doumeki to let out a puff of shocked air at the scene.

“Why do you-,” Doumeki cut himself off at Watanuki’s warning glare and sighed, turning again to walk inside. “Whatever. Come on in, I guess.” Watanuki hurried to follow him, grumbling all the way.

\- -

“What’s a logarithm again?” Watanuki yelled for the 5th time that set, causing Doumeki to miss yet another bullseye. The taller glared at the target and all its misses; at this rate, he’d never get in real archery practice.

“Have you not been listening to a word I’m saying?! We’ve been going over the same 3 calculus terms for over 20 minutes now! Honestly, at this point you’re making me feel like I’m the one too stupid to explain it,” Watanuki exclaimed, rubbing at his temples in aggravation. 

Doumeki nocked another arrow as the he spoke, drawing it and aiming again. Watanuki’s brows drew together when he released and hit the first red of the practice. He sucked in a breath and stood, gathering his things. “You know what, I’m just gonna go home. I’m sure Yuuko has important things for me to do, and at least she might listen to me.” He spared the other a glance, who was standing completely still with his back to Watanuki. He grinned in triumph when the taller’s shoulders sagged in a sigh, and he walked over to the bow rack to carefully hang his up, doing the same for his quiver and arrows.

“You’re probably the neediest person I know, even when you don’t mean to be.” Before fire could escape Watanuki’s mouth, Doumeki continued. “Give me a second to change, I’ll go back to the shop with you and study there.” The other deflated as Doumeki walked away, feeling particularly foolish.

Why does this matter to me so much, he wondered incessantly, racking his brain for answers. This would be the first time either of them had done anything like this together - alone. A chill went up Watanuki’s spine, recalling all the times they were forced to spend alone time together, but not one of their own free will. It was always per Yuuko’s request, or because Watanuki needed protection, or - better yet! - needed to be saved. But now it would just be the two of them, together, around Yuuko - OH SHIT YUUKO.

Beginning to sweat, Watanuki froze when Doumeki stepped out of the locker room, looking more than ready to go.

“Change of plans, let’s go to the temple instead, yeah?” Watanuki laughed nervously.

Doumeki raised a brow. “And what’s with the sudden change of location?”

 

“Oh, you know… Temples are always good at helping people focus, right? Way better than an… alcoholic witch’s…” He sighed. “Wish granting shop.” Doumeki shrugged.

“Whatever works best. To the temple we go.” Watanuki blinked and turned, caught off guard by Doumeki’s nonchalantness. He sped to keep up, now walking away from the school.

It was as silent as every other walk they took together; that might be why they never hung out. With a click of his tongue, Watanuki internally hit himself. No, dumbass, he thought, the reason we’ve never hung out is because we were never friends. You didn’t like Doumeki for months. But now…

He turned to the boy walking beside him, who stared ahead with his normally blank expression, and looked him over. He looked the same as always; still tanner than Watanuki, still taller than Watanuki, still more muscular than Watanuki, still more handsome than- wait, what?

Watanuki blinked, and when Doumeki snuck a glance and their eyes met for a split second, the other quickly averted his gaze and looked down to the ground, currently trying not to lose his shit.

Ok, since when was Doumeki better looking than Watanuki? And when had this descriptor been added to the very short, categorized list Watanuki had to describe Doumeki in his mind? His neck and ears flushed deep red, thoughts going a mile a minute. 

Now that he thought about it, Doumeki was pretty handsome. But that only made sense! It wasn’t like it was a biased observation… He was strong, tall, quiet, yet thoughtful, and frankly, his face wasn’t too bad on the eyes either- OK WHAT WAS GOING ON?!

“Nothing’s going on. We’ve been walking in silence for 5 minutes. You do look like you’re about to blow a fuse, though.” Doumeki gave the other an odd look, probably trying to wrap his own head around what Watanuki’s most recent mental breakdown was on.

“You guys really need to ignore me when I say shit out of the blue,” Watanuki grumbled.

“If we did, we’d lose half the fun of being around you.”

“Oh, so I’m boring all the other times?!” Watanuki glared at a stone faced Doumeki.

“I didn’t say that. You’re pretty fun all the time, albeit maybe too loud.”

“Well, that’s just how I am, so you’ll have to suck it up Mr. My-Face-Only-Knows-Three-Expressions!” Watanuki folded his arms in indignation.

“I do. I never said I don’t like being around you, Watanuki-,” the other flinched at the actual use of his name. “Why do you think I left my practice to have you repeat logarithm forty different times?”

Watanuki sniffed, looking up towards the sky to avoid Doumeki’s eye contact. “Well, I don’t know… I would hope it’s because you care about your grades.” Watanuki heard Doumeki sigh, and when the other didn’t respond, Watanuki’s body relaxed. His mind was still going a mile a minute, however, continuing to reel over the revelation of finding Doumeki attractive. And what was that whole thing about, Watanuki wondered, replaying Doumeki’s words over and over in his head. ‘I never said I don’t like being around you, Watanuki.’ The words struck him as entirely odd because, while yes, Doumeki never hesitated to risk his life for the other (which was a completely different thought process for another day), he never seemed to just… Enjoy his company? He would always just call Watanuki loud, or send him a teasing smirk, and it confused Watanuki even more.

There was one thing he knew for certain now though: somewhere along the line of knowing Doumeki these past few months, he became attractive…

\- -

“It’s 9 o’clock. Are you sure you shouldn’t be checking in with Yuuko?”

“It’s WHAT?!” Doumeki plugged the ear facing Watanuki, still holding the tableside clock he had picked up to check. “Gimme that!” Watanuki yanked it out of a yielding grasp and squinted at the time, feeling his soul leave him when he read exactly what Doumeki just said. “This is it… She’s really gonna kill me this time…” The other slid off of the short couch, landing on the wooden floorboards with a ‘thump’.

“I’m sure it’s no big deal if she knows why you were gone. I can just walk you home and tell her.”

Whipping up, Watanuki roughly poked Doumeki in the chest. “No, you don’t get it! This is the first time I’ve ever skipped out on work without letting her know in advance, and that woman practically owns my soul! I can’t even begin to guess what kind of punishment she’ll come up with for me!”

Doumeki a raised a brow. “Sounds like serious stuff.” Watanuki yelled.

“You say that, but it’s like you don’t care!” Doumeki stood.

“Come on, I’ll take you home.” Watanuki yelled again.

“STOP IGNORING ME!”

Finally, at nearly 9:10 at night, the two left the temple and began heading towards Yuuko’s shop. Like always, it started with silence, until Doumeki was the one to speak up first.

“I wouldn’t worry about what Yuuko will do. She seems pretty level headed when you’re involved.” Watanuki scoffed.

“Yeah well, you don’t know her like I do, and- wait, are you trying to comfort me?” Realizing what Doumeki said halfway through his statement, Watanuki turned and gave the other a startled look, who shrugged in return.

“You just work yourself up over stuff that doesn’t even end up mattering half the time.” Watanuki didn’t say anything in return.

“Like when I eat your food,” Doumeki continued with a playful smirk. Watanuki growled.

“Hey, that stuff does matter you bottomless pit, because half the time you end up eating from my bento too!”

“Then pack me more food.”

“Ok, I will, pig!”

“Thanks.”

“You’re welcome!” Doumeki snickered, and Watanuki continued to be confused by how the day was going. It felt like yesterday, they’d never talk again, much less look each other in the eye. So why now, had the two felt closer than they ever had before?

\- -

“So, run me through your thought process again… You have finals coming up, so you…” Yuuko gave an embarrassed Watanuki and stone faced Doumeki a curious look.

“We had finals, so I thought it’d be best for both of us if we studied together. So we went back to Doumeki’s temple and-.”

“Ended up staying there for about 6 hours.”

“You know, you two don’t have to be ashamed and lie if you did something more than study,” Yuuko replied with a smirk, taking a drag of her pipe. Now it was both Doumeki and Watanuki’s turn to flush and stare at her in shock.

“Yuuko! We didn’t do anything like that, and that you would even think that-!”

“There’s no need to be bashful, my dear Watanuki. It’s an entirely normal part of every teenager’s life.” Watanuki clutched his face in his hands and groaned, not even bothering to look over at his friend. He didn’t know what was more mortifying, that Yuuko was actually having this talk with them, or that she had assumed it at all.

But then again, it isn’t the worst thing someone’s ever assumed of Watanuki-

And then he blew a fuse.

“AAAAA! OK, GOODBYE DOUMEKI, I’LL SEE YOU TOMORROW, PLEASE LEAVE!” He pushed the speechless elder out the door as he yelled, slamming it once he was out and running back to point angrily at Yuuko.

“Why would you say something like that, Yuuko?! I know you have no shame, but at least I’m used to it! How do you think Doumeki feels, having heard that?!?” Watanuki was huffing, face deep red.

Yuuko giggled. “I don’t believe Doumeki cares at all. And I don’t think you do either.” Watanuki fell to the floor, whining once face first on the wood.

“All I ask for is one normal day…”

“You haven’t one normal day since the morning you were first conceived. What makes now so different than the last few months?”

Watanuki groaned, voice muffled. “‘Don’t wanna talk about it…” Yuuko hummed and took another drag of her pipe. 

“That’s fine. But when you do, I’ll be here to listen.” Watanuki didn’t move. “You can go home for tonight.” He mumbled a tired ‘thanks’ and pushed up off the floor with a grunt, now looking 10x more exhausted than before. He gathered his things and walked out of the lounge room, slipping on his shoes and exiting the shop.

\- -

The next day was… surprisingly very normal in comparison to the last two. Doumeki and Watanuki still walked to school together in the morning, meeting up with Himawari half-way, but nothing came up about what Yuuko said the night earlier. They just talked and joked and yelled as usual. The same thing went for the school day, each one getting through their classes without difficulty. However, there was something at lunch that caught Watanuki off guard, and it was almost like deja vu. 

Walking to their usual lunch spot, Watanuki came to a sudden halt when he spotted Doumeki and Himawari talking alone - again - under the shade of a tree. However, this time Watanuki could actually see the other boy’s face, which he squinted to read the expression of. 

Doumeki seemed… utterly serious. More than usual; as he spoke, his brows knitted together, and though it was hard to spot from so far away, Watanuki would’ve guessed his cheeks were a little flushed too. Himawari nodded her head as he spoke, listening intently, and Watanuki felt his heart twinge. But for the first time, he wasn’t sure who he was jealous of.

Doumeki sad a few more things, sighing after, to which Himawari give him an encouraging pat on the shoulder, smiling her brightest smile. Thankfully, neither of them noticed the spying Watanuki as they walked over to finally sit in their usual spot in the grass. The boy in question took a deep breath and headed over, hoping his expression was normal enough. He plopped down, and got to work on taking out their bentos. 

“Who’s the extra for?” Doumeki asked, peering over at the four boxes Watanuki packed for today. Watanuki clicked his tongue.

“I figured I’d start doing what I said I’d do yesterday, so you can stop hogging all the food from my box,” he stated, passing Himawari hers, then handing the two over to Doumeki. The taller hummed, and reached over across Watanuki’s lap to grab the chopsticks sticking out of his bag. Watanuki smacked his hand as he calmly pulled away, tearing open the packaging and taking off the lid to begin eating.

“Honestly, you’re such a pig! You can’t wait for me to pass them out like a normal person?” Watanuki exclaimed, handing a giggling Himawari hers all while glaring at Doumeki.

“No,” Doumeki replied, mouth full of umeboshi. Watanuki took a heaving breath.

“You’re hopeless…”

“You two are always so funny together. I’m glad you get along so well,” Himawari spoke up cheerfully, opening her own box.

The three ate in silence for a little while, each just enjoying the well made food and pleasant whether. Until Watanuki broke the silence.

“You two seem to be getting along a lot better than before.” He looked between the two, who shared odd looks.

“What do you mean?” Himawari asked, putting down her empty bento to give Watanuki her full attention.

“Well, I uh… Saw you two talking a couple days ago after school, so…” He trailed off, realizing they already knew what he was referring to. Doumeki’s eyes widened, and he gave Himawari a subtle, pleading look.

“I don’t…” She gave Doumeki one final glance, before turning to Watanuki. “That’s not my right to explain to you. I think Doumeki should be the one to.” The boy in question froze, and Himawari closed her bento and slid it towards a confused Watanuki, standing then brushing off her skirt. “I’ll let you to be alone.” And with that, she left. 

That was the most out of characters Watanuki had ever seen her before. Turning to Doumeki to ask him the million yen question, he saw how panicked the other looked and went blank. He opened his mouth to speak before Doumeki interrupted.

“How much of Tuesday did you see with Himawari and I?” Watanuki scoffed.

“Enough to catch on that there’s something you two aren’t telling me,” Watanuki replied with a sniff. Neither of them said anything.

 

“You know, we’re not together, right?” Doumeki finally spoke up.

Watanuki let out an empty laugh. “No, I don’t know that actually, Doumeki! Why do you think I’m asking? It feels like you two are just lying to me at this point,” he finished with a grumble.

“Why are you so upset then? Is it because that’d mean Himawari was no longer available?” Doumeki’s eyes narrowed.

“No!” Watanuki exclaimed, beginning to grow frustrated. This shocked Doumeki first, who’s thin eyes widened. Watanuki was next to be shocked, realizing he’d just voiced what he hadn’t been able to face in his own mind for the past few days; perhaps even the past few weeks. “I mean…” Watanuki gulped. “I don’t know, ok?”

Doumeki sighed and closed both of his bento’s, placing them next to Watanuki in the grass before standing. “Come to me when you do know. Then I’ll tell you what happened.” For once, Watanuki had no comment or scathing remark to yell as the taller walked away.

And so the day went on, neither boy having left the others mind.

\- -

When school got out, Watanuki walked towards the gate as usual, expecting to find Doumeki there waiting for him (not like he’d have walked home with him either way), but was surprised to not see him anywhere in the area. He stood alone near the exit under a tree, fidgeting as he glanced around for any sign of the boy. Eventually, he gave in, getting the idea and leaving. 

The walk home was… weird. It was the first time he’d walked alone in months, bringing Watanuki back to that first day he find Yuuko’s shop. That was before he was close with anyone: Himawari, Yuuko, or even Doumeki. But for the longest time, they weren’t close. It was always thanks to fate, or Yuuko, or some dangerous situation. But yesterday was plenty to show how close they had become.

Speaking of yesterday, Watanuki was still reeling over his own self discovery. I guess Doumeki can be considered new to a lot of different categories in my mind now, Watanuki thought. Friend, attractive, and maybe even-

Watanuki came to a robotic halt, bag slipping out of his hands and flopping over on the asphalt below. “Holy shit… WAIT!” Watanuki booked it towards the shop, most recent revelation causing his heart to go a mile a minute. By the time he reached it, his hair was sticking in all directions, including to his own sweaty forehead. His breathing was labored as he shucked off his shoes and through them at the wall, marching into the lounge area.

“Yuuko… I think I’ve-,” Heave. “Finally…” His knees hit the floor. “Lost it…” He fully collapsed, back moving up and down as he continued to take deep breaths.

“Oh, look who finally used his big boy brain to figure out what’s been there the whole time. I am indeed very proud of you, Watanuki,” Yuuko replied, staring at Watanuki with a raised brow, The boy let out a mix between a groan and a whine, still not moving his limbs.

“Why him, though?! Why couldn’t it have been Himawari until the day I graduated, or maybe even beyond that?” His words came out muffled, but still loud.

“We can’t always control who we fall in love with, Watanuki. That’s why, for many people, they find the most enjoyment from that part of their life.” She took a drag of her pipe, blowing out the smoke slowly.

Finally, Watanuki pushed himself off the floor, face flushed a deep red as he glared at the woman. “And said anything about me being in love with him?! I just-”

“I never said anything about it being you.”

The two made direct eye contact for many silent, dragged on seconds, before Watanuki very gracefully broke it by screaming at the top of his lungs.

“YOU’RE JOKING RIGHT?! HOW GIFTED WITH MIND READING ARE YOU, I MEAN, HOW ON EARTH DO YOU KNOW THA-.” The front door opened.

“T.” Watanuki sagged. “Were you expecting any customers today?” He asked, turning to the door in anticipation. 

“I expect everything, and nothing.” Watanuki sent her a look and stepped away from the door, straightening himself in preparation for the guest.

 

What he got instead, however, was a looming Doumeki pushing aside the sliding doors, holding his forgotten school bag. “I found this while I was walking home. I checked inside and saw the bento boxes, so I figured it was yours.”

Watanuki didn’t move an inch.

“Are you gonna take it or not?” Watanuki approached Doumeki, then walked past him out into the hall.

“Let’s talk.” He slid the door close, and Yuuko smirked as the two’s footsteps heading upstairs.

\- -

“Why are we crammed together in a dusty storage room.” Doumeki squinted, looking around in the dark room.

“Tell me what you said to Himawari earlier.”

Doumeki gave his full attention to Watanuki. “Do you know why you got so upset?” The shorter took in a shaky breath. 

“I think… But I don’t want to tell you if there’s no chance of anything happening.” Doumeki felt his pulse quicken. The words were so vague.

“I won’t tell you if you don’t tell me.” Watanuki bit his lip and looked down, leaning against the wall, and Doumeki remembered for just how long he’d been wanting to kiss the other.

“Can I do something, instead of say it? You’re back’s to the door so if you - you know…” Watanuki’s voice was just above a whisper, something Doumeki rarely got to hear. He nodded, then realized that Watanuki wouldn’t be able to see him, so he muttered out a deep ‘yes’.

Watanuki stepped forward, hesitantly, eyes scrunched up as he continued to go over everything that had happened over the past few days. And beyond that.

All the times Doumeki risked his life for the other, or used up time to wait for him, or have patience when he didn’t deserve it.

Do I deserve it, Watanuki thought, blue eyes hastily looking over an anticipating Doumeki, either’s breath ghosting the others face. There was just one more split second of hesitation until Watanuki thought-

“Fuck it, I don’t care anymore.” And leaned up the rest of the way to touch his lips against Doumeki’s. The kiss lasted only a few seconds, but Watanuki drank in as much information as he could in that short time; it was dark, because his eyes were closed. Doumeki’s lips were chapped, but so were Watanuki’s. The shorter pulled back when he felt Doumeki’s hand come up to brush through the hair on his neck. They looked at each other, expressions mirrored for the first time.

“That was my first kiss,” Watanuki finally spoke, somehow breathless.

“Mine too.” Watanuki scoffed.

“I don’t believe you.”

“Fine. The first one that mattered.”

 

Watanuki sighed, and leaned up to give Doumeki another kiss, mumbling, “You really do get on my nerves sometimes, Doumeki Shizuka…” The taller chuckled, and returned the kiss.

\- -

“Wait, let me get this straight: you came out to Himawari and told her you had a massive crush on me? And for what?” Watanuki stared flabbergasted at Doumeki, both sitting across from each other on Watanuki’s bed in his apartment later that night. Watanuki had done all of his work necessary while Doumeki waited and watched, until Yuuko dismissed him for the day and Doumeki followed Watanuki home like a kicked puppy.

“I wasn’t too sure if she actually liked you or not. Not like I would’ve cared if she did, though.” Doumeki smirked when the other gasped and hit him with the closest pillow.

“Why did she hug you though?” Doumeki gave Watanuki a confused look, until a bulb seemed to light up in her head.

“I don’t know, I guess she thought I needed to be comforted or something. I wasn’t that sad about have an unrequited crush on you.” Watanuki made a garbled sound, waving his arms.

“That’s still so weird to say out loud…”

“Oh, but you can kiss me no problem?” Doumeki asked, smirking and crossing his arms.

 

“Our brains are just wired differently, okay! Besides, I’m just so used to us… Not getting along. It’s gonna take me a while to start acting like a- a-”

“Normal, loving boyfriend?” Doumeki raised a brow.

 

Watanuki slumped over. “Yeah, those words exactly.”

“Well, I don’t need you to be anyone other than who you are right now. Just act natural.”

Watanuki began laughing loudly, cheeks tinted pink. “Man, I think that’s the sappiest thing I’ve ever heard you say.” They smiled at each other. “But I’ll keep it in mind.”

\- -

EPILOGUE

“Doumeki Shizuka, if you steal one more tonkatsu out of my bento, I will see to it personally that you no longer have a boyfriend.”

Doumeki looked the other dead in the eye, and then proceeded to place the tonkatsu between his chopsticks into his mouth; Watanuki yelled.

“THAT’S IT! WE’RE BREAKING UP! I’VE HAD IT UP TO HERE WITH THE FOOD STEALING!”

“This tonkatsu is really good, can you make some for my box tomorrow?” Doumeki asked, already eating another one.

“FINE!” 

“Thanks.”

“You two are so cute together! I’m glad it worked out,” Himawari chirped, smiling brightly at the couple.

Watanuki crossed his arms indignantly. “Well I’m not. He’s still an annoying oaf sometimes.”

Doumeki spoke up with a mouth full of food. “You know, they say it’s bad luck to lie to yourself, even more than lying to other people.”

Watanuki scoffed, cheeks red. “Like that doesn’t sound familiar.”


End file.
